Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Day I Flew like Superman

Disclaimer: I'm going to give you fair warning that I am not the best writer in the world. So if bad punctuation and grammar ticks you off..............Well too bad because there is bound to be some in here. ;)

The following story is true.

WARNING: Do NOT attempt anything that you read here as it really is quite painful.

I had made plans with a friend to go with her to Henrietta to see her boyfriend, so I knew that I would have to get up early on Saturday. My alarm went off bright and early. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyes felt like they were glued shut due to the fact that I had slept in my contacts. So I reached over and grabbed the re-wetting drops off my dresser. Unfortunately I accidentally grabbed the ear wax remover by accident and put several drops in my eye.

There was instant mind-numbing pain.

My eyelids clamped shut.

(I never knew that eyelids could be so strong.)

I went running out of my room screaming like a banshee. I ran to the bathroom and started throwing water in my face. My roommate Dana came flying out of her room screaming “What’s wrong!” I don’t remember exactly what I said, but the next thing I knew she was helping me throw water in my face. We finally got my eye pried open enough to remove my contact and to completely flush it out, but it still felt like it had been lit on fire. Not a pleasant feeling. I removed my contacts and was forced to wear my glasses. For some odd reason my depth perception was completely thrown off, and I spent the morning running into door jams and falling down the stairs.

***Now you may be thinking that this is where the story ends, but you would be wrong. I was going out of town with a friend. Remember?***

Stephanie arrived around 2:00 pm to pick me up and we headed to Henrietta. Later that evening a few of us decided to go the park. We were having a great time acting liking little kids and being stupid when it happened. I was standing on a rock that was about 2 1/2 ft tall staring at that swings when this thought popped into my head. For some odd reason I thought it would be fun to jump of the rock, take off running, land on the swings with my stomach, push off with my legs, and fly like superman.

That was the last thought I remember.

*** at this point I would like to remind you that my depth perception was off due to the morning events***

One minute I was standing on that rock thinking like a child, and the next minute I was lying on the ground with my face in the dirt and my arms above my head.

I rolled over and everyone was just staring at me in stunned silence. You could tell that they wanted to laugh, and once they knew I was okay they laughed until they cried.

I waited until they could contain themselves before asking them what happened.

And I waited......

And I waited........

After about 15 minutes Stephanie said that all they knew was that I was standing on the rock, then I was flying through the air, I landed on the ground face first, and then bounced twice before finally landing.

At the mention of me bouncing twice they all fell to the ground in another round of uncontrollable laughter. I LOVE my friends. J

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