Disclaimer: I'm going to give you fair warning that I am not the best writer in the world. So if bad punctuation and grammar ticks you off..............Well too bad because there is bound to be some in here. ;)
Here is another blonde moment for you. Before I start, I guess that I should probably describe myself to you. Im 5'1/4", long dark hair, petite body, with more than enough on top. I also have no coordination what-so-ever. Now keep this in mind as you continue to read.
Several years ago I woke up one morning and decided that I wanted to learn how to roller blade.
***Don't ask me why because I have no clue. It was just one of those moments.***
So I got up and went to the store to purchase some roller blades. I walked into the store and told the clerk that I had decided that I wanted to learn how to roller blade. The guy gave me the strangest surprised look and asked "Why?" I told him that I just felt like it. He took one look at me laughed and said, "I'm sorry but I just sold our last fanny pad!"
*** HOW RUDE!***
Now at this point most people probably would have been offended, but I'm used to it by now so I just laughed on long with him. After trying on about 5 or 6 pairs I finally made my choice. The clerk then pointed out that I would probably need some pads. So he talked me into buying a complete set (wrist, elbow, and knee). He then tried to convince me to purchase a helmet, but I had to draw the line there.
I paid for my stuff and headed to the lake.
Normally I don't like to do new things like this by myself, but I figured that I knew how to roller skate so how hard could roller blading really be? I get to the park and put on all my new stuff. Here is a little description of how I looked: My hair was in a pony tail with a baseball cap, shorts, tank top, roller blades, wrist pads, elbow pads, knee pads, cell phone in pocket, and head phones. As I stood up (actually I pulled myself up hanging on to the car door) I began to realize that this might not have been that great of an idea. I looked around and people were just whizzing by roller blading and none of them was wearing all of the pads. It was at this point that I realized that I looked like a nerd on skates, but I was determined to continue on. It took about 10 minutes and several falls to reach the sidewalk path. Once there, I finally was able to start skating. Slowly my confidence built up and I was able to start enjoying myself.
It was a beautiful day out and there were a ton of people around. I was having a great time. Weeeelllllll, I did for about 20 minutes any ways. Then my legs started to hurt and my feet started screaming out in agony. Unfortunately it was at this point that I realized that I didn't know how to stop the frickin' things. I looked up the path a little ways and saw a park bench. I remembered that when roller skating all you have do is twist your butt around and sit down. So I figured that I could do the same thing with roller blades. WRONG! I was thoroughly and completely wrong. Roller blades are not anything at all like roller skates. I rolled up to the bench, twisted, and missed it. I ended up rolling underneath it and catching myself on the bench with my arms. There I was with my breasts and arms sitting on the bench where by butt should have been. My legs were under the bench with my feet sticking out the other side. I couldn't even get enough traction to push myself out from underneath the bench. Finally after several tries I just sat down on the ground, pulled my legs out from under the bench and then crawled on top of it. I looked around to see how many people were laughing at me, and realized that not one person witnessed this embarrassing display. After that I decided to call it a day.
As I was driving home I kept thinking "I can't wait to get out and do this again!"